When I was pregnant with Landan, (about five years ago) my mom had a lot of advice to give me. She told me a lot and was incredibly helpful and I am very grateful for all she did and said. Unfortunately, I really only remember one thing. She has said this to me multiple times, my dad has even said it once or twice. I honestly don't think I could forget it now if I tried.
"Having a child is like having your heart living outside your body."
I didn't fully understand this until I held my first child in my arms. I think I learn new meanings of this almost everyday. I saw a new layer of this last week. I have known that Landan has always had struggles with things in his life. He gets very overwhelmed by things, and he panics over things he can't control. He has many battles in his mind over a lot of things and I really believed that by putting him in school he would find the structure and order he would need to get over these things or find a way to deal with these things. Watching my son struggle over these things is very difficult for my.
Heartbreaking.
What is even more difficult is knowing that school might not help him. I think he is going to need a lot more help. I will tell you, no matter what it is that he needs, I will do it. No matter what the problem is, my heart will get the help he needs to make this life more bearable.
